Welsh Football League forward tells PSG he can do Neymar’s job for £300 a week

A Welsh Football League forward has contacted Paris St-Germain to let them know that he can do Neymar da Silva Santos Júnior’s job for just £300 a week.

Danny ‘FiveGunts’ Twoporches said that he would save the club just under £198m a year while providing the same level of skills as the Brazilian.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“What’s he got that I’ve not got? In fact, you could say that I bring more to the table than Neymar does. I hold down a full-time job in Curry’s during the week – what does he do? Just walks around getting tattoos and praising God. I’ve shown commitment and passion to the game – I’m there every Sunday over the rec. I’ve got speed, skill and even a silver pair of daps. Given a chance, I’d shine on the world stage like Neymar has. I’ve written to PSG and told them that I can do his job for just £300 a week. Now that the deal looks like it’s falling apart, they’d do well to give me a call.”

Danny’s wife said that she could do with the money:

“Our washing machine blew up last week. I’ve got a house full of skiddy grots. If Danny can get himself into PSG, I’d buy a new one from Curry’s because he gets discount. I’d had my eye on one for a while – it washes your clothes AND dries them. The only thing it doesn’t do it iron them and put them away in the cupboard.”

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