Weather Wednesday 23rd January

Be careful not to slip on your arse first thing in the morning as it’ll be very frosty and icy. The good thing is that it will be sunny at least and will remain like this for most of the day apart from in the west where there is the chance of a shower. Feeling nipply. Maximum temperature of 6°C.

Down on the farm, Mrs Honey has made an official complaint about Farmer Giles who lives on the farm next door. It seems his cows have been mooing a bit too loudly lately and it’s putting Mrs Honey off her daytime TV. She’s written to the local MP and asked them to go round to Farmer Giles’s farm and tell the cows to shut the eff up. She’s awaiting a reply.