Weather Tuesday 23rd July: Hot as arseholes

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Any early morning cloud will soon melt away, leaving a very sunny and very hot day with shitloads of sunshine. There may be some cloud lingering around western coasts but that’s ok because nobody important lives there. Maximum temperature 31°C.

Down on the farm, Farmer Honey is doing his best to keep the barn cool. He’s been to B&Q and bought a load of fans but they’re not very effective. The heat is making everyone very fruity and there are couples all over the places getting it on all over the place.