A pathetic, weak-minded husband had been totally humiliated by his wife after she announced on Facebook that he had secretly tried to keep the heating on all night.
Darren Gristlechops, who didn’t want to be named for fear of abuse, told his wife that she wasn’t allowed to put the heating on last night as it was too expensive. But secretly, it was claimed, he kept it on a low setting overnight. The shock discovery was only made when he failed to wake up to turn it off in the morning.
His wife, Michelle Gristlechops told WalesOnCraic:
“This is divorce. Last night, he even told me to wear a jumper to bed. What kind of man keeps the heating on overnight? I thought he was a REAL man but he’s just turned out to be like the rest of them – a spineless drip of a twat. I want a REAL man in my life.”
Darren has since gone into hiding after his embarrassment was revealed to the world. He called the offices of WalesOnCraic to try and justify putting the heating on overnight:
“I had to. My bollocks were frozen and my wife never lets me touch her in bed so I couldn’t share body heat with her. I’m truly sorry to all my male friends who thought I was tougher than this. I’ll make it up to them, I promise.”