Wales is set to be as hot as somewhere else in the world that’s quite hot.
Forecasters have warned gingers to stay indoors and for people to only use hoses to beat annoying neighbours.
A spokesman for the Weather Department of Wales said:
“There’s a ridge of high pressure moving into Wales over the next few days and this will bring temperatures that will make people’s bits very sweaty. We recommend that all gingers stay indoors for the next month and that anyone who wants to use a hose can only do so to beat the shit out of annoying neighbours. There are other places in the world that will be just as hot as we are and they will be comparing their temperatures to us on their news bulletins.”
One beach-goer said:
“I can’t wait. I’ve got my Speedos all washed and ready to go. All I need now is a nice beer and a girl to sit on my face. Sorry. I mean a girl to come and sit on my left. God, I’m mad I am aren’t I?”