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Wales brought to standstill under 3ft of jack shit

Wales has been brought to its knees after suffering 3ft of falling jack shit.

In some places, 6ft of jack shit fell, leaving many struggling to cope.

One North Wales resident said:

“I woke up to find our home completely covered in jack shit. We are lucky that I went out and bought our local shop’s entire stock of bread and milk. We’d be shafted otherwise. My daughter was supposed to be going to work but phoned in to take the day off. God knows how she would have coped if she had to go in.”

Forecasters say that there’s more jack shit on its way over the next few days.

Billy BoggleEyes of the Welsh Institute of Weathery Stuff said:

“We’ve got a load of nothing coming into the country next week, bringing with it not much at all. The people of Wales can expect nothing at all to happen, as we have witnessed here today.”

Police are looking into reports that some snow fell in England.

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