Wales braced for more shitty weather

Winds of up to 3,000mph and 6ft of rain is expected to hit Wales tomorrow as Storm Francis moves in.

The public has been warned to lash down patio chairs and loose potted plants as the second storm inside a week reaches Welsh shores.

A spokeswoman for the Weather Department told WalesOnCraic:

“I got caught out last week as I was sneaking around to my boyfriend’s house when a large gust of wind took me by surprise and blew my skirt over my head. In my confusion, I stumbled into a puddle and got my new shoes wet. It’s this kind of things that the people of Wales need to be ready for. Storm Francis is expected to make landfall on Monday night so if you’ve got any washing out on the line, don’t be a dick – get it in.”

Storm Francis follows hot on the heels of Storm Ellen, who caused chaos towards the end of last week.

The storms are named at random by someone in the Irish weather department, usually in alphabetical order as they arrive in the UK.

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