UK unemployment down thanks to sudden rise of Pancake Day ‘tosser’ comedians

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The UK has seen it most sudden drop in recent times due to the sudden rise of a new batch of comedians.

Pancake Day has seen a 121% rise in people employed as comedians who have people rolling on the floor with their hilarious Pancake Day ‘tosser’ jokes.

One new comedian told WalesOnCraic:

“I’m usually pretty boring for most of the year but Pancake Day is the one day of the year when I can show off my comedic talents. I usually start as soon as I wake, asking my wife if she’d like me to toss off for her. Even though it’s first thing in the morning, she’s crying laughing. Then when I get on the bus to go to work, I say to the driver that I’ll try not to toss on the bus. He has to sit there for a while because he can’t drive because he’s crying laughing. Then when I get to the office, I have the entire staff rolling on the floor when I walk in and say that I’ll be tossing later. It’s great to be a comedian like this because it validates me as a human being. I finally get the recognition I deserve. After that, it all turns to shit and I go back to being boring old me again. That’s until next year when I start tossing all over again lol, rofl, roflhaha, I’m roflarious me!”

One of the new comedian’s co-workers said:

“The man is a comedy genius. It’s Pancake Day and he rolls in here with his hilarious jokes about tossing. We’re literally on the floor laughing. He’s great.”