UK snap election ‘doesn’t give Putin enough time to get his shit together’

Critics are worried that Boris Johnson may call a snap election, saying that it doesn’t give Vladimir Putin time to get his shit together.

All holiday leave at Downing Street has been cancelled, raising the notion that a snap election could be imminent.

Critic John ShinyShoes said:

“Calling a snap election now is grossly unfair on Mr Putin who will have no time at all to organise anything. The Labour Party is up shit creek and the Lib Dems are probably away on a yoga retreat. We feel that Boris could call this election now so that he can consolidate his power. He’s a very craft fox.”

A spokesman for the Kremlin said:

“We will do our best with the time given but clearly, this is going to be a big test for our lads. We’re going to have to pull people off their holidays and all kinds of stuff. We had plenty of warning with the US Election as we knew that it was coming but we are a little aggrieved that this could be called at such short notice. We’ll do our best to get Jeremy Corbyn in though so watch this space.”

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