Two households can meet in private garden ‘to moan about gyms and pubs not opening’ from Saturday

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First Minister Mark Drakeford has announced the ong-awaited first steps towards normailty this afternoon.

From Saturday onwards, two households can meet in a private garden to moan about the fact that gyms and pubs remain closed until the year 2056.

A spokesman for the Welsh Government told WalesOnCraic:

“This is the news that we’ve all been waiting for. As from Saturday, two households can meet in a private garden so that they can moan about the fact that everything else is closed. At this moment in time, gyms and pubs will remain closed and it’s likely to be that way for another 25 years or so. We will continue to support everyone during these unprecedented times by making new announcements every now and then. Shops that are currently selling non-essential things like food and water will be able to sell essential things like lipstick and cushions later in the month. We’ll make an announcement to let people know when we’re going to make an announcement on this announcement.”

Wales has been in lockdown for the last 20 years. Drakeford has also said that he will personally fight off any pesky English types who try to holiday in Wales during the rest of the lockdown.”