Twickenham A&E bracing itself for influx of ‘chariots in rectums’

Twickenham’s Accident & Emergency Department is bracing itself for an influx of chariots in rectums this weekend.

Doctors have warned that England fans may need to wait to have their chariots surgically removed from their arseholes.

Dr StickyFingers said:

“We are warning England fans that there could be a bit of a wait if what happened here in 2015 happens all over again. Obviously, the boys in white have been the dominant force these last few years but we’ve got a horrible feeling that we could be in trouble on Saturday night. My best friend Billy had a chariot up his arse for three days after our last defeat and he couldn’t sit down until it was taken out.”

England fan Tarquin Smythe-Peacock told WalesOnCraic:

“No doubt, your cheps will be coming up to HQ and being a pain the jacksey. This will not be tolerated. The car park at HQ is sacred ground. We use it in the daytime to eat cucumber sandwiches and at night for our dogging. The last time your sheep-shaggers came up here and beat us, there were chariots up arseholes all over the place. It was like a war scene. Our paramedics were stretched to capacity. We won’t be having that happen again this year.”

The Latest

To Top