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Trump identifies the big mouth who’s been blabbing intelligence secrets

US President Donald Trump has correctly identified the big mouth who has been leaking intelligence information to the country’s enemies.

Trump identified the culprit when he caught sight of the man in his bathroom mirror.

He told waiting reporters:

“I seen him. Large fella with yellow hair and an orange face. I recognised him straight away. I’m going to send the Feds in. Bad hombre. Been leaking bigly. Worse than a lactating latino. We’re gunna lock him up. Big time. He left when I left the bathroom so we need to find him again.”

A spokesman for the White House said:

“We can confirm that the President’s inauguration was the largest inauguration the universe has ever seen. Period. Did you see those people? There were billions of them. All over the place. All crying with joy that our Dear One was now the Leaker, sorry, Leader of the Free World. Got Bless America.”

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