A South Wales husband has filed for divorce from his wife after she fanny-farted in his face during a romantic interlude.
Bob Gubbins from Trefforest was ‘sipping from the furry cup’ in a pre-Valentine’s night get-together when his wife Julie, let rip with a front bum arse-ripper. Bob suffered first-degree burns to his face and also lost several of his eyelashes in the eruption.
Bob told WalesOnCraic:
“There I was, minding my own business when she went to cough and BOOM! I didn’t know what had happened. My hair was blown off my head and my eyelashes simply vapourised there and then. To make it worse, she laughed when it happened, and I got an aftershock straight to the face. I simply cannot allow my wife to get away with this. I’m taking her for everything she’s got, including the microwave, which is technically mine anyway because I paid for it on my credit card.”
Julie was repentant after the episode.
“All I want is my husband back. I couldn’t help it. I think my front bum got pumped full of air when Bob was busy tromboning me. I do hope Bob is ok. I’d hate for him to leave as I’d have to buy my own microwave oven.”