Total Recall bar to open in Cardiff

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The bar made famous in the film Total Recall is set to open in Cardiff.

Drinks that will totally erase clients’ memories will be served by girls with three mammaries.

Manager Peter Hauser told WalesOnCraic:

“We’re looking to open the Last Resort before Christmas. It’ll be a futuristic kind of place with CD players and flashing lights and things. Clients will be able to buy drinks that will totally erase their memory and they will have to go to Mars to find their true identity. We were going to get Arnie to open it but he said that he was washing his hair.”

A Cardiff Council spokesman said:

“We are delighted that the owners of this bar have chosen Cardiff as their next destination. We all love Total Recall and my favourite scene is where Arnie gets dressed up in that tight yellow jump suit. His muscles look divine.”