Tie your wheelie bins down – Storm Arwen’s about to grind the UK to a halt

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People across the UK have been warned to tie down their wheelie bins in anticipation of Storm Arwen, that’s due to hit UK shores on Friday.

Patio chairs and garden gnomes have also been added to the list of things to tie down, in case they fall over and look unsightly.

Derek the Weathersheep, Wales’s foremost weather-forecasting sheep told WalesOnCraic:

“Those gardens ain’t going to look pretty once Storm Arwen’s finished. We can expect total carnage as plant pots, patio chairs and even wheelie bins can expect to get battered. Rain and even snow is also forecast, which means that the whole of the UK will come to a complete standstill. We are also forecasting people to be grumbling about the weather, with stock phrases such as ‘Gosh, it’s windy isn’t it?’ and ‘Bit breezy today’ expected to be heard up and down the length of the country. We are asking people to stay safe and not moan too much about the wind and the rain.”

The storm is likely to hit just as villages and high streets have put their trees up in anticipation of Christmas.