Thousands of women fancy a ‘quiet night in’ tonight

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Women across the UK have announced that they are having a quiet night in tonight.

Many have told their partners that they are likely to be unavailable from about 9pm this evening for about an hour.

Mother-of-five Jenny Slackflaps told WalesOnCraic:

“Do you know what? I’ve had such a busy week this week that I really fancy a night in front of the telly on my own. I think I might even send the hubby down the pub for a few hours. Just to have a bit of ‘me’ time. I’ve got myself a nice bottle of Thunderbird and some new batteries and I like to think that I’ll catch up on a bit of Sunday night drama on the telly.I hardly ever do that any more, not since the time of Heartbeat. Yes, I think that’s what I’ll do.”

Husband Eric said:

“I can’t believe it. She’s actually allowing me to go down the pub with the lads on a Sunday night and she’s not even moaning about it. Something must be up. Maybe she’s after my body and is sending me out to make the heart fonder. Yes, that’s what she’s doing.”