Swansea dickhead plans to wear Hawaiian shirts ‘well into November’


Jobless George James has told his family that he intends to make the most of his newly acquired short sleeve Hawaiian shirt collection by wearing both of them until at least the 12th of November.

George told WalesOnCraic:

“I love the sunny weather – my shirts look ace,” he said. Despite grave warnings from his Gran that he might ‘get a nipple on’ when it gets cold, he is determined to wear the shirts well past the summer.

His girlfriend, Jane said:

“Who? I don’t have a boyfriend. Oh not him again? That twat in the Hawaiian shirt? He winks at me in the chippy where I work when he gets his chips and peas dinner. He doesn’t have the balls to ask me out. Obviously, I would say no – have you seen those shirts?”

His parents, who asked not to be named (Dave and Janet Smith of 43 Mason Avenue) said:

“He’s an effing joke to be honest. It’s pissing down most of the time round here. He became obsessed with the shirts following a sale at Asda and now he won’t wear anything else.

They continued:

“Dear God! This is Swansea, not the fucking Mediterranean. He will catch his death if he is still wearing them by Friday according to the forecast – the bloody fool!”

George insisted that it was a good idea as he might become famous for wearing Hawaiian shirts and make a few quid, possibly ‘hooking up with some fit birds.’

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