A Sunday driver has been clocked doing 21mph on the A48 near Cardiff.
Police zapped the motorist has he made his way to a garden centre.
PC Jobsworth, who caught the speedster on his big lasery gun thing, told WalesOnCraic:
“This dickhead had obviously lost all sense of where he was or what he was doing. I normally sit here all day, zapping people with my gun, and not picking up anyone. This morning was a different matter though. It was just as well as I was here because he came blazing through at 21mph. This sort of crime must be stopped.”
The motorist, named locally and Stuart Greaseball, told WalesOnCraic:
“It was stupid of me. I had top soil on the brain and I forgot where I was and what I was doing. I tried bribing the police officer who caught me, but fair play to the lad, he was professional to the end. I now need to pay to go on a Speed Awareness Course so I can be told not to drive at more than 20mph in a 20mph area because I didn’t previously know that. I will need to demonstrate genuine remorse for my crime so I’m going to cry a lot.”