Election 2017

Star Trekking Across the EUniverse

Following the accusation by EU ministers that Theresa May is living in another galaxy, the Tories are rumoured to be planning a Star Trek type rescue to bring her back to earth.

Mrs May has embarked on her mission to leave the EU and ‘boldly go where no man has gone before’. However it’s all gone horribly wrong and she needs to be rescued from her predicament.

The Tory plan called ‘Brexit- The Final Frontier’ would involve her rescue from the planet Brusselus in the galaxy Europus. Brusselus is inhabited by the evil EU Klingon empire who refuse to release their prisoners until a huge ransom is paid. This often results in a long drawn out battle where they eventually annihilate the opposition. Their power mad leader Jean-Claude Junky, or JC as he is known, has enlisted the help of his allies throughout Europus to carry out an all-out attack on the UK which could eventually destroy its economy.

It is rumoured the Tories have requested the help of the Corbynites but they appear to be sitting on the fence, not willing to get involved.

The Remainers, who are trying to derail the mission, have made an appearance off the starboard bow warning that outside the EU there will be life ‘but not as we know it’.

A Tory spokesman said:

“I loved Star Trek when I was young and this sounds like a great idea to ignite the spirit of Enterprise and move forward at the speed of light. We voted Brexit to have control over our borders so we could keep out those damned aliens who want to invade us.”

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