Spiders spending the summer ‘building an army’ for autumn’s Arachnegeddon

The Welsh Government’s intelligence agency has told WalesOnCraic that it believes that spiders are spending the summer building an army.

It is believed that the spiders are looking to start a mass invasion of homes across Wales in September.

A spokesman told WalesOnCraic:

“Our intelligence agency has been busy keeping an eye on these fellas. Last year, I walked up my garden path, only to walk straight into a large spider’s web. It’s like they were trying to catch me and eat me. One of the girls on the team said she saw two spiders mating when she was out in a local beer garden last week. We know for a fact that spiders like to come into homes during the autumn months. We are therefore advising the general public to be aware and take precautions where necessary to limit the invasion. Spiders are expected to end up in beds, clothes and bath plugs when the invasion does start. We suggest keeping a slipper close by at all times.”

Terry Nutjob, a leading expert in bugs said:

“The summer months are traditionally a time of breeding and reproducing. That applies to spiders as much as it does us humans. Expect Arachnageddon during the autumn months.”

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