Shit Advisor: Cardiff edition

197

As Wales’ capital city, you’d be forgiven for thinking that Cardiff has it all. Shit Advisor runs its eye over some of the infamous offerings that it has.


CYNCOED
The residents of Cyncoed really do think that they live in one of the best suburbs of Cardiff. Unfortunately, they seem reluctant to admit that there is a bloody great big university plonked right in the middle of it. This in itself has put a ceiling on house prices. Add to this the fact that the students are mainly sporty, alcohol-fuelled fuck buddies and the problems grow. A local resident who wished to remain nameless told me that she was in the process of showing a prospective house buyer around her property when she spotted a number of naked students running up the road clearly going through some kind of initiation challenge. 


CAROLINE STREET (CHIPPY ALLEY)
Having visited the street a number of times late at night, I can safely say that it’s not the safest of places to eat late at night. I met up with a chippy alley regular, Jimmy Pitman, who told me he’d been on the wrong end of some trouble recently:

“There I was, about to tuck into my food and this numpty tries it on. I’m a lover, not a fighter and can’t throw a decent punch, so quick as a flash, I tore the top off my mince beef and onion pie and shoved the boiling hot remains in his face. Should ‘ave heard him scream. I ran as fast as I could like.”


GRANGETOWN/SPLOTT/CANTON
The worst thing about Cardiff is the fact that most of the good bits are slap bang next door to the not so good bits. The Cardiff City Council Worst Area Award is held annually (think Best Kept Village Award with a twist!). Criteria include the most car thefts, most police patrols and highest prostitution rate. Residents take the competition very seriously and are keen to stick little stars on their front doors each time their area wins. A little bit like the ones that teams put on their shirts when they’ve won the Champions League. 

get your will done