Senedd set to flatten Welsh mountains to make Wales ‘bigger than England’

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The Welsh Assembly Government is set to flatten all of Wales’s mountains in an effort to make Wales bigger than England.

The controversial plan means that Wales will be able to build more car parks and roads with bus lanes, attracting more international trade and tourism.

Derek Greyshoes, Minister for Making Stuff Up For The Sake Of It, told WalesOnCraic:

“We have vast underused resources in Wales and after spending £30bn on a report, we’ve discovered that if we flatten all of our mountains, we’ll have a country that’s bigger than our neighbour England. This will mean good news for all our car park builders and it’ll also allow us to build lots of road with bus lanes on them, even if no buses run that route. We believe that this will attract international trade from all over the world, allowing us to compete on the world stage.”

Flattening of the mountains is set to start in the Summer. Two tractors and a man with a wheelbarrow have already been given the contract for the job.