School saves money on Big Pit trip by lowering pupils into holes in playground

A cash-strapped school has saved money on a visit to the Big Pit by lowering their pupils into holes in the playground.

Ysgol Guntas couldn’t afford to hire a coach and pay for admission into the historic venue. They dug holes in the playground and lowered the children in on ropes instead.

Headmistress Glenda GlumPlums told WalesOnCraic:

“This Welsh Assembly is squeezing the life out of us and we simply cannot afford to pay for our kids to go to all these posh places. When we were kids, our teachers used to take us down to the bombs craters that were at the bottom of our playground. We had one smart-arse teacher who told us that we should all go to the Big Pit so that we could all learn about our Welsh heritage. I laughed in his face when he told me how much it would cost. I then instructed the teaching assistants who sit around on their fat arses all day to do something productive and they set about digging holes in the playground. We then lowered the kids in on a rope and they loved it.”

Pupil Timmy Shinyshoes said:

“It was a bit shit. They tied a rope around my waist and lowered me into a hole. I was there for 15 minutes before they pulled me out again. The only good thing is that I felt like I connected with my Welsh heritage. Now I know what it must have been like to have been a miner back in the days of collieries and mines.”

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