Samaritans call in extra staff to deal with last night’s Planet Earth II’s turtle story

The Samaritans have called in extra staff after to deal with last night’s Planet Earth II’s turtle story.

The programme showed baby turtles heading for the nightclubs instead of the sea and getting stuck in drains.

A spokesman from the Samaritans said:

“It’s very much like watching a night out up the valleys. They emerge from their warm cosy homes intent on having a good time, yet get distracted by the lights and lure of the clubs and it all ends in disaster. We’ve been inundated with calls about these bloody turtles so we’ve had to call in more staff to deal with it. I’ll be phoning Attenborough myself to ask why his cameramen and women didn’t help those poor turtles out of those drains. They could have even ushered them across that busy road instead of just standing their filming them.”

One viewer, who was too distressed to speak, said:

“It was awful. I felt so sorry for those little animals. And did you see those poor baby pigs getting taken by the leopard? Oh my god. That was the end of me. I had to go and have a bacon buttie to cheer myself up.”

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