Sad fuckers with nothing better to do head to shops to buy cheap shit

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Sad fuckers who have nothing better to do are this morning heading to the shops to buy the shit that the stores couldn’t shift during the rest of the year.

Thousands of twats are hoping to get stuff that they’re never going to use for cheaper than they would have paid if they’d bought it in the summer.

One shopper said:

“I’ve got loads of stuff that I don’t need so I’m heading into town to buy it. I read somewhere that I can get it for 50% cheaper. When you’ve got that sort of discount going, you really can’t leave it there. I’ll bring it all home, put it in my wardrobe and then chuck it out in a few years time.”

Shop manager Gary Shed said:

“I had to be up a 6.30 to come and serve these fuckers. I could have had a nice lie in and maybe dry-humped my missis. Instead, I’ve got to stand here and deal with these arseholes. I guess the only benefit is that I can shift all the shit I wasn’t able to sell earlier in the year because it’s shit. Stick an half price sticker on it and it goes quicker than shit off a shovel.”

Even lazier fuckers are expected to spend the day doing it all online.