Sacked José Mourinho to become Zumba instructor in Barry

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Sacked Chelsea boss José ‘The Special One’ Mourinho will be starting a new career as a Zumba instructor in a South Wales town.

That’s according to Giles Smallballs who runs a Zumba class in Barry.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“He’ll be joining Jeremy Clarkson, looking after the senior class on Wednesday mornings. He’s such a good-looking fella that I’d like to think that all the old biddies who come down will get moist just looking at him. I would have liked him to pick up my Friday class but I have my hair done on Wednesdays so it’s best if he does the Wednesday class. I’ve bought him some nice new pink fluffly legwarmers and I’d like to invite him over for tea one night so I can stroke his beautiful hair and talk about football.I do love him so.”

Chelsea sacked Mourinho after playing shit for quite a few games. He hasn’t commented on his new possible career as a Zumba instructor although there was a big posh car outside Coconunts Play Hall this morning.