Russian bomber ushered out of Welsh airspace by police chopper crew who threaten to ‘smack them in the chops’

A Russian nuclear bomber has been ushered out of Welsh airspace by the crew of a police helicopter who threatened to ‘smack them in the chops’.

The Russian TU-95 bomber was spotted in the Bristol Channel off the coast of Swansea last night. The police helicopter was responding to routine callout when it encountered the foreign aeroplane.

PC Clive Bigballs told WalesOnCraic:

“We was up in the air flying around looking for some baddies when this big friggin thing came flying in from the east. I could tell it was a Russian plane because it had a picture of Putin on the front. I told my pilot to follow the plane. The Russians got in touch on the radio. I couldn’t understand them as they were talking Russian but I was taking no chances. I told them to get out of the area or we’d smack them in the chops. I’m not sure if they could understand me but the plane did turn away and flew off.”

Pilot PC EagleEye added:

“If they had dropped the bomb on Swansea, I’m sure it wouldn’t have been that bad. The place is shithole anyway. But I was glad that they flew off because my shift was finishing and I wanted to get home to watch Coronation Street. Tony’s been boning Tracy Barlow and I’m hoping that they’ll get caught soon.”

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