Roly Polys to perform at Trump’s inauguration

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It’s not been a secret that the stars were lined up to perform at the inauguration of Hilary Clinton, but Donald Trump has been having real problems in finding any big name stars to perform at his. This follows his surprise victory.

HOWEVER, WalesOnCraic’s North American Entertainment Reporter, Hiram Tumblemuff can report that a big name has finally been signed up. The Roly Polys dance troupe that used to perform with the great comedian, Les Dawson.

It appears that Trump was entertaining his new best buddy, Nigel Farage to dinner. Farage brought a DVD over of Les Dawson and Trump was infatuated by the performances of the Roly Polys dance troupe led by Mo Moreland.

“Nigel, can you get the Roly Polys to perform at my inauguration as it will make up for the lack of names like Bruce Springstein and Beyu let me once,” said Trump.

“Of course, Donald. If you let me have a budget of $5million,” Nigel Farage is understood to have asked for.

WalesOnCraic have approached the Roly Polys manager, who said:

“The Roly Polys haven’t performed for years. Death, ill health and age has meant that they are not on top of their act.”

When told of the $5m budget, their manager said :

“I will get Mo and the girls together and hold interviews if necessary, to fill any places that are vacant.”

WalesOnCraic also spoke to President Elect Trump’s negotiating team to verify the story. Elmer Fuddscrote said:

“Donald has learnt that you can tell people anything and they will believe it. He tried it out on the British electorate in the EU Referendum campaign when he suggested that people would vote for £350m a week extra for the NHS. It worked and people believed it. The fact that the money isn’t there and people aren’t taking to the streets is evidence that voters believe any old bollocks given to them.”

WalesOnCraic spoke to one of the Roly Polys. Ethel Bumscratch said:

“I’m the youngest at 88 and can’t wait to show Trump and the American people that we deserve the number 1 billing as Beyonce and Lady Gargoyle won’t be appearing as they are having their hair done.”

Meanwhile tickets for Trump’s inauguration are currently on sale on Ebay and 10,000 will soon be on sale at Poundland.