Robins lobby MPs to stop migrant birds flooding UK and taking all their worms

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British robins have lobbied MPs to stop migrant birds from coming to the UK and taking all their worms.

The robins are worried that uncontrolled borders will allow unchecked numbers of swallows and swifts into the UK during April and May. Many migrant birds will be looking for somewhere better to live for the summer months.

One red-breasted robin told WalesOnCraic:

“We are resident birds of the UK and we are worried that left unchecked, we’re going to get shitloads of swallows and swifts entering our country and taking all our worms. Swallows and swifts are also notorious for stealing flies while on the wing and that means that we’ll be left short. We’ve begun the process of lobbying our MPS for better border checks this summer so that birds native to the UK can enjoy our summer without fear of going hungry.”

But a spokesman for the migrant birds said:

“Swallows and swifts have been coming to the UK for billions of years. Why have the robins suddenly got their arses in a twist now? I think it’s a case of short man syndrome myself.”