How to recreate the Glastonbury experience at home

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Don’t feel left out that all your cultured friends have taken themselves to Glastonbury for a few days. You can recreate the same experience at home. WalesOnCraic shows you how:

  1. Sit in your car for 27 hours to get yourself in the mood for the greatest festival on earth.
  2. Head back into your house and turn on all the taps to flood the entire house. You may want to fill a pair of wellies with some mud from your back garden.
  3. Put on MTV and then get your friends to sit in front of the TV so you can’t see it.
  4. Stay like this for three days, sleeping with the TV on full blast while you try and sleep on the [flooded] floor.
  5. Keep your phone battery level between 1-10%.
  6. Post pictures to Facebook pretending that you’re having fun.
  7. Warm up some Skol lager or cider in a saucepan and serve in plastic tumblers.
  8. Take a piss in your front garden but try not to take a dump for the next three days.
  9. Rip up several hundred pounds worth of cash and place at bottom of toilet.
  10. Refuse to wash and occasionally wash your hands with a baby wipe or something similar.
  11. Talk about how you can’t wait to come back next year but secretly book a holiday to Mexico.