Don’t feel left out that all your cultured friends have taken themselves to Glastonbury for a few days. You can recreate the same experience at home. WalesOnCraic shows you how:
- Sit in your car for 27 hours to get yourself in the mood for the greatest festival on earth.
- Head back into your house and turn on all the taps to flood the entire house. You may want to fill a pair of wellies with some mud from your back garden.
- Put on MTV and then get your friends to sit in front of the TV so you can’t see it.
- Stay like this for three days, sleeping with the TV on full blast while you try and sleep on the [flooded] floor.
- Keep your phone battery level between 1-10%.
- Post pictures to Facebook pretending that you’re having fun.
- Warm up some Skol lager or cider in a saucepan and serve in plastic tumblers.
- Take a piss in your front garden but try not to take a dump for the next three days.
- Rip up several hundred pounds worth of cash and place at bottom of toilet.
- Refuse to wash and occasionally wash your hands with a baby wipe or something similar.
- Talk about how you can’t wait to come back next year but secretly book a holiday to Mexico.