You think you’re Welsh right? Well, you might not be as Welsh as you think you are. Take our crappy ‘How Welsh Are You?’ Quiz here to find out!
1. You meet someone lush off the telly down the local pub. They get off their tits and offer you the chance to come back to theirs for some ‘how’s your father?’ Do you:
a) Head to the bathroom, swill your bits with some water from the tap, head back out, grab them by the hand, call a cab, get them home, throw them on the bed and roger them to within an inch of their lives, call The Sun newspaper, sell your story and photos to them for £450, head back down the pub and buy all your mates a drink
b) Consider the offer carefully
c) Decline their offer as they were born too far east for your liking
2. The Welsh rugby team are having trouble choosing a first fifteen to take part in their next match. They arrange a game between the ‘Probables’ and the ‘Possibles’. Which team do you support?
a) You don’t mind. Either way, it’s an interesting experiment to see if there are any players whose skills have been overlooked by the coaching staff
b) Couldn’t give a shit mate
c) Support both teams, feeling equally deflated and happy at the end of the game when one Welsh side wins and the other loses
3. There’s a blizzard and you’re snowed in at the local Kwik Save store. After 24 days without being saved, the manager, Debbie Largethighs allows you to eat some of the stock to stay alive. Do you eat:
a) Go for some of those posh biscuits that you’ve always had your eye on but never been able to afford
b) Anything. Don’t give a shit me
c) Some seaweed bread stuff and a bit of cheese
4. You enter a competition with Saga and win a round-the-world holiday for you and ten of your mates. It will last three months, full-board and free bars wherever you go. Do you:
a) Pack your bags
b) Consider the offer carefully, ensuring that you don’t have to sign any contracts that will allow Saga to use you as their bitch for the next ten years
c) Politely decline the offer, pointing out that your local village has everything you ever need, and that there is no finer sight in the world than the local stream that runs at the back of your house (when the council have taken the trolleys out of there anyway)
5. You research your family tree and find out that your great-great-grandfather came from England. Do you:
a) Phone up Davina McCall and ask her to come around and make a TV show out of your discovery
b) Trace your ancestors and arrange a massive piss-up at Aust Service Station on the M4
c) Invite all your family around to your house before ‘accidentally’ leaving your gas cooker on for half hour and then lighting a fag
6. Simon Cowell decides to run a ‘Best of X Factor’ competition on national television. Which act do you support?
a) Leonna Lewis
c) Ant and Seb
7. You’re out down the shops buying a new mobile phone. Which brand would you buy?
c) A Dai-Phone. It was built by Dai down the pub using two cups and a piece of string.
8. What is the best national anthem in the world?
a) Mae hen wlad fy nhadau.
b) Mae hen wlad fy nhadau.
c) Mae hen wlad fy nhadau.
How Welsh are you?
Mostly As – Not very
Mostly Bs – Quite Welsh
Mostly Cs – Very Welsh