PROVEN: Big-breasted women wear bigger bras

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A Welsh Government investigation has proven that big-breasted women wear bigger bras.

The £2.5 million study was undertaken by a board of 15 men who spent 3 years studying the subject.

Professor Simon Sweatyhands said:

“We did a LOT of research on this – and I mean a LOT. My colleagues and I spent three years investigating the matter and I even had to take work home with me. My laptop is full of pictures of big-breasted women. We also set up camp in the lingerie section of Primark for three weeks to see what kind of women were trying on what size bras. Even then, we couldn’t be entirely sure that our hypothesis was correct so we had to bring in a load of women with big breasts and analyse them in various stages of undress. We then also asked them what size bra they would usually buy and wear and collated our data that way.”

One woman who was interrogated by the team said:

“I was asked what size bra I normally wear. I was also asked if I’d like to go out for dinner and if I’d like a job.”