Prince Philip offering free thrill rides for local residents


Prince Philip is offering local residents free joy rides in his Land Rover to apologise for recent anti-social behaviour.

Residents will receive 10 minutes with Philip with seat belts a voluntary option.

A spokesman for the Palace, Tarquin Smythe-Peacock, told WalesOnCraic:

“Phil has been feeling particularly bad about all the shit that he’s caused over the last few days. He’s decided to offer local residents free joyrides in his big posh car. Phil will take them through the local country lanes at about 130mph, head out over the fields to see if they can run over some foxes and then finish up doing some wheelspins in the drive outside the palace. Seatbelts will be totally voluntary as this will add to the excitement on the day.”

One local resident said:

“I’m really looking forward to going out with Phil. I’ve heard he’s one hell of a driver and I look forward to shitting myself.”