Prince Philip heads to Chippy Lane for retirement piss up and kebab

Prince Philip has headed to Cardiff’s Chippy Lane for an all-out retirement piss up.

The royal Consort ended his 65 year career of opening jumble sales by getting shit-faced on SA and ordering a lamb kebab from Dorothy’s Chip Bar.

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace told WalesOnCraic:

“One visited Caroline Street many years ago and one told us that one would like to go back after one had finished one’s royal duties. The Prince is currently on his 15th pint of Skull Attack after stopping for a kebab on pint ten. One is hoping to move onto the Fantasy Lounge after pint twenty so that one can watch some titties bouncing around.”

Eyewitnesses have said that the Prince is living up to his wildman persona:

“He came falling into the Goat Major earlier and told us all to go back home to where we came from. Thankfully, I only live next door so I didn’t have too far to travel.”

The Prince is planning to finish the night with a visit to Bute Street.

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