Polish workers can have Heathrow’s Third Runway ‘done by Friday’

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Polish workers contracted to the newly-announced Heathrow third runway have told the Government that they can have it ready by Friday.

The current estimate for the runway to open is 2021.

Antonin Workalot of the Polish Workers Federation told WalesOnCraic:

“I’ll get the boys down there later today to take a few measurements. We’ll then head off to B&Q to get some bits and bobs and as long as the weather holds out, we’ll have you a new runway by Friday. We’ll even build you a new piece of motorway for the same price. I’ll send one of our lads down to get some packed lunches for us.”

A Government spokeswoman said:

“We are taking a good look at what the Polish can offer. We currently set the date of 2021 based on our own workers’ habits such as looking at their mobile phones for 3 hours of their working day and taking lots of fag breaks. We will be making an announcement shortly on who we will give the contract to.”