Police helicopter: ‘We just like to fly around at night to annoy people who are trying to sleep’

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Pilots of the South Wales police helicopter have admitted ‘flying around at night just to annoy those who are trying to sleep’.

Instead of picking off society’s criminals with a machine gun as many would believe, its pilots have revealed that they just fly around for fun.

“Yeah, we loves just flying around to keep people awake. I had someone push in front of me in the queue at Kwik Save two nights ago. I found out where they lived, jumped in my chopper last night and then hovered over their house for two hours. I could see through my infra-red camera that his dog was going mental so I stayed there for a little bit longer, just to annoy him. He won’t be pushing in front of me in Kwik Save again, that’s for sure.”

Police bosses were quick to play down the claims from the pilots.

Chief of Police, PC Plod told WalesOnCraic:

“Our boys are out every night busting their balls and putting their lives on the lines to keep South Wales safe. The boys are obviously just telling you this load of bollocks so that you can just put it on our website. But believe me, if it wasn’t for the police chopper, your streets wouldn’t be as safe. We also chase away Russian bombers. What more could you ask for?”

But the pilots dismissed Pc Plod’s statement.

“That’s what he’d like you to believe. We’ll be out again tonight making sure that large swathes of the country are kept awake and grumpy for work tomorrow. I loves it I does.”