Police Get New Powers To Beat Shit Out Of People Who Respond To Long Texts With Just A Smiley Face

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Welsh police are to be given new powers to beat holy shit out of anyone who responds to a long text message with just a smiley face.

The new powers will come into effect immediately to clamp down on lazy shitheads who can’t be arsed to write a full response.

PC Plod, Chief Constable of Wales, told WalesOnCraic:

“It’s good to see Wales leading the way on this kind of lazy-arsed approach to communication. Some of us invest a lot of time and effort thinking about what we want to write in a message, correcting mistakes and taking the time to read over what we are about to send. To get just a smiley face back really pisses me off. I’ve been browsing EBay for some knuckle dusters and can’t wait to get stuck in to beating the shit out of these people.”

Janet FatFinger, mother-of-four and prolific texter told WalesOnCraic:

“:)”