Pink custard to be reintroduced to school dinners

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Pink custard is set to make a return to Welsh schools after Assembly Ministers pushed through new legislation.

The new initiative will also see the return of ice-cream scoops being used to serve shitty mashed potato.

An Assembly spokeswoman told WalesOnCraic:

“We reconvened especially to get this through. The youth of today don’t know how easy it is and we want them to know what it was really like to be living in the 80s. We are bringing back pink custard which can be served on many school desserts such as chocolate slab of concrete, lemon slab of concrete and slab of concrete. Our school canteen staff will also be trained in the art of scooping out mashed potato and slopping it onto a plate while simultaneously smoking a cigarette and chatting to a mate. We want our younger generation to know what shit we had to put up with.”

Another spokesman said:

“We’ll be rolling out the pink custard over the next few weeks and cascading it down to all levels as part of our initiative strategy. Or something like that.”