Piers Morgan to start new career in Greggs

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Shouty TV man Piers Morgan is to start a new job in Greggs from Monday.

The lardy arseslap snowflake hater will undergo a week’s till training before being allowed to serve to the public.

A spokesman for the alleged phone hacker told WalesOnCraic:

“Mr Morgan has been too shouty for too long on telly so he’s decided that he’d like to get up a little later in the mornings. He’s got himself a job at Merthyr Greggs, where he will be serving sausage rolls, steak bakes and the like. His employers have stated that they don’t wish Mr Morgan to shout at their customers, so will undetake some sort of anger management programme before he starts his till training. We’ve been told to remove all references to Meghan in the shop for fear that he may explode.”

Piers quite Good Morning Britain earlier today on the grounds of being shit at his job.