Phil Collins comes out of retirement to remind people why he retired

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Musician Phil Collins has come out of retirement to remind people why he retired in the first place.

The former Genesis frontman announced his return to the music scene today.

A spokesman for Mr Collins said:

“Apart from that one time when one of his songs was used for a shit advert for chocolate, Phil has slipped from the public consciousness. He is keen to remind people why he retired in the first place, so has come out of retirement to remind people why he retired in the first place. His forthcoming studio album will have him playing all the instruments on it – yes – all at the same time. He’ll also do a bit of singing and possibly, there’ll be a guest slot from a gorilla. I’m not too sure to be honest because I made all that up.”

Phil Collins announced his retirement several years ago after people stopped buying his records and spent their money on Arctic Rolls instead.