Pet owners given new powers to send lazy-arsed pets to work for a living

Pet owners in Wales have been granted new powers to allow them to send their pets to work.

The Assembly says the drive is designed to promote pets’ independence and to improve their self-esteem.

A government spokeswoman said:

“In this day and age, we all need to pull together to help make lift easier. For far too long, pets have been relying on us humans to provide for them. In many cases, these pets lounge around the house watching Jeremy Kyle all day while their poor owners work their arses off to provide for them. We’ve introduced these new powers to allow owners to send their pets to work for their keep. This should help foster more self-confidence in the pets and provide them with a reason to get up every morning.”

But critics have already expressed their concerns about the new powers. Colin the Cat of the Pets’ Union told WalesOnCraic:

“This opens up the opportunity for unscrupulous employers to take advantage of these pets. We demand an immediate ballot with a view to calling a General Strike. We cannot have pets going to work to earn a living. It contravenes their Human Rights Act which protects them and allows them to sit around on their arses all day. That is what life is all about.”

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