People who let off fireworks before Bonfire Night officially classified as ‘cockwombles’

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The Welsh Government has officially classified people who let off fireworks before Bonfire Night as ‘cockwombles’.

The move comes as more and more cockwombles set off fireworks in the run-up to the traditional autumn celebration.

A spokeswoman from the Assembly told WalesOnCraic:

“These people are literally farting away their money. Half of them are letting them off before it even gets dark. Last night, I was just about to go down on my husband as he’d finally cleared the shed out like he promised me months ago. He was just about to go to heaven for a few seconds and someone let off a banger right outside our bedroom. It really put him off his stride and he had to go and sort himself out in the bathroom on his own. These people have no consideration for others so we’ve officially classified them as cockwombles.”

One cockwomble said:

“I loves letting my fireworks off. Sometimes I can’t physically wait so I let them off before it even gets dark. I loves it I does.”