Pensioner retires to Florida

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A pensioner who has been living in Washington DC for the last four years has retired to Florida.

The OAP, who has spent the last four years playing golf and spending time online, will spend the next few years playing golf only, having got himself banned from social media in the last few weeks.

Family member John told WalesOnCraic:

“He’s been put out in the meadow, as it were. Having spent his life ducking and weaving, it’s now best that he comes to Florida to retire. We’ve got some lovely things here for him, mainly a golf course, to which he is obviously familiar. We’ve also got some hookers and casinos lined up, in case and of his friends take a fancy to that sort of thing. He flew in last night on a a big jumbo jet and he’s very excited to be starting a new life here in Florida. He was talking about setting up some sort of political party but between me and you, I think his days of being a ‘politican’ are gone forever.”

Family members are putting on a spread for the pensioner’s arrival, which will include sausage rolls and pineapple and cheese on sticks.