Penarth fisherman catches two-headed fish

A fisherman from Penarth has caught a two-headed fish off the local pier.

Simon Bigballs was fishing last night when he caught the two-faced bastard.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I was a surprised as anyone. I thought I’d gone mad. I had a pull on my line so I reeled the bastard in and the next thing I know, I’ve got a two-faced fish on my lap. I wasn’t sure which head to smack to I twatted both of them and it soon stopped wriggling. I think it’s something to do with this new radioactive mud that’s being dumped just off the coast. Only yesterday, I pulled in this fish and it was glowing so much that it lit the way home for me.”

Council officials have been quick to defend the dumping of the toxic waste. Shelly Backfat said:

“Whilst it’s true that this mud is radioactive, there is absolutely no reason to panic or worry because it’s bringing us in lots of money to pay for our new company cars,” she said through her arsehole.

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