Orgies are to be restricted to just one person under new rules to stop the spread of Covid.
The government said there is no longer any real reason for people to have group sex in person.
A spokeswoman for the Government told WalesOnCraic:
“If we have to work from home via Zoom calls, people wanting group sex can do the same too. It’s these dirty bastards who are spreading the virus around so we need to isolate them so that they don’t go passing on their germs. We are now bringing in rules that will force people to have orgies on their own, thus slowing the spread of this disease.”
One orgy-goer wasn’t too best pleased. Andy Grumble told WalseOnCraic:
“I likes having a grope I does. My job may be to just hold the coats but I gets to see an eyefull and sometimes, one of the ladies lets me touch her boob. It was really nice. Warm and soft. Like a big marshmallow. I’m going to miss that.”