One Direction Split To Take On New Roles As Cashiers At Swansea’s JD Sports

1607

Pop band One Direction are set to disband in March in order to take up new positions as cashiers at Swansea’s JD Sports.

The famous four-piece, once famed for pushing a microphone stand over live on stage, have decided to split after their fifth album next year. Their new positions will begin after undertaking a gruelling five hour training programme.

JD Sports manager Jim BouncyBalls, told WalesOnCraic:

“It’d be good to have the boys down here. We’ve been slightly understaffed here lately as most of the girls have gone off to have babies. Even our floor manager Steve has gone off to have one. They’ll probably start their first shifts working the shop floor, helping customers find what they’re looking for. Then we’ll get them till-trained so that they can start taking some money.”

One Direction fan, Rachel Sadfucker said:

“Yeah, it’ll be nice. I’ll probably head down there on their first day and pretend that I’m looking for a pair of Nike runners. Then I’ll trap Harry down behind the footballs and sit on his face. I think he’d like that.”