Outgoing President Barack Obama has spent the day getting his shirt signed my friends and members of staff around the White House.
Obama also spent the day drinking Thunderbird and having sneaky fags behind the back of the bike sheds.
He told WalesOnCraic:
“I don’t actually finish my job until the New Year but I know it’s going to take a lot of work handing over control to the pleb who’s coming in. I thought I’d give myself a day off, get my shirt signed and have some fun. It’s been a great eight years – we managed to shoot Bin Laden in the face and allowed gay soldiers to actively serve in the armed forces. I’m not sure what my next move will be but I’ll probably make a film or I treat my family to a holiday in Porthcawl. In the meantime, I’ve got my signed shirt to remind me of good times.”
One member of staff said:
“We’re going to leave some dead fish down behind the fridge in the White House so when what-his-chops comes here, he won’t know where the smell is coming from.”