No Steak Bakes In Greggs? Kanye West Cancels Tonypandy Charity Shop Opening

US rapper Kanye West has cancelled the opening of a charity shop in Tonypandy after finding out that the local Greggs did not stock Steak Bakes on the day he was due to be there.

The world’s most talented musician was due to open the ‘Old Grannies and Their Dogs’ shop next month, but has told staff that he will not be attending.

Store manager Ethel Bobblehat told WalesOnCraic:

“Couldn’t give a fuck. Never heard of the guy. Besides, we’ve got Ted ‘The Count’ Hankey on standby and he’s a laugh a minute. And if he doesn’t turn up, we’re all going to head down the local and get off our tits. That’s how we roll. Bollocks to Kanye.”

But some fans have been disappointed to hear that the famous singer won’t be cutting the ribbon.

Sheila Saddo, who has booked to visit from Spain said:

“I’m so sad. Life couldn’t get any worse from me right now and then he goes and pulls this stunt. I hate him.”

Kanye remains on course to be the most popular musician in human history after his latest single charted at No.37.

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