Welsh rugby referee Nigel Owens has been dispatched to Westminster to deal with the growing Brexit bullshit that’s threatening to bring down British democracy.
Owens received the call late last night and was due to arrive in London first thing this morning.
A spokesman for the government said:
“We’ve lost all control of everything and everyone. We need someone fair but strong. We’ve seen Nigel on the telly before, dishing out discipline like he’s been doing it all his life. Which he has. We gave him a call late last night and are hoping that he can help sort this mess out before the UK implodes and we’re all left with nothing.”
Nigel wasn’t able to immediately comment, probably because he was still cycling to London, but one of his neighbours said:
“That boy was out of here first thing. He cocked his leg over his bike and was gone, just like that. All that was left was a puff of smoke. I’m back off to bed now. Bye.”
Nigel’s first job will be to crack some heads together and to bring some order to Westminster.