Nigel Farage to start new career in fruit-picking

Former MEP Nigel Farage is to start a new career in fruit-picking after quitting radio channel LBC.

Farage has said that his new job will give him more time to spend alone with his racism and self-importance.

A spokeswoman for Farage told WalesOnCraic:

“Nigel was bitterly upset that his contract at LBC was not renewed. He was hoping to spend the summer patrolling the English Channel in a dingy but his piles have been playing up quite a lot lately so we thought it best if he took part in a more sedentary pastime. Now that most of the Eastern Europeans have disappeared, we have noticed that there are plenty of fruit-picking vacancies down on the South Coast so Nigel has decided that he’d like to spend the summer doing that. He’s always been fond of strawberries because it reminds him of his playing days at Wimbledon, which I’ve just made up.”

Nigel will spend three weeks training before being let loose in the fields of Dorset and Kent.

“Depending on where he’s needed, Nigel will be in either location. He’ll be allowed a cigarette and beer break three times a day.”

Image: Gage Skidmore

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